Yes, it was nice to see you again.
I have imagined this scene in my head more than a thousand times, but I never knew it would be like this.
When we first broke up, I always thought I can never talk to you or see you in the eye ever again in my life. It was just too hard. I always thought I would avoid seeing you, in any occasion.
As time went, I am finally confident enough to say that I will not avoid seeing you, if I have to.
When I knew that this year's AICHE will be held in Minnesota, I chickened. "Maybe I am not ready," I thought. I have rehearsed this scenario in my mind for a lot of times. What should I say if you walk to me? Should I just say hi and pretend that we were just classmates? Or should I pretend nothing has happened?
I walked into the reception and there you were, in the line for food. I spotted you immediately, as I always did. We had a short eye contact, but then you turned your head away. "Maybe you did not see me," I thought. Throughout the night, I cannot stop myself from noticing where you were. "How strange! Why didn't you say hi?" By the time I was going to leave, you walked in and talked to our classmate. I was going to walk up to you and say hi. Master stopped me, "he has been avoiding your eye contact. You don't have to say hi. Let's just leave."
So I left.
Sitting in the hotel room, I finally realize I am ready, ready to let go and move on. I want to let you know: I really appreciate what we had for four years. Athough it did not end well, I hope you had a good time as I did. I feel sorry that you are no longer the same person I know, but I am glad you are happy. Turned out, it is not so difficult to move on (I don't know how long it took but maybe I should meet you earlier). I did not have to rehearse that many times. I knew how I felt when I saw you, and it was clear. It was a pity we cannot be friends anymore. "It's his loss," my friend said. I don't think it is anyone's loss. Sometimes you just cannot control it. You have to say goodbye when it is time.
Ok, ciao.
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